Having change thrust upon me unexpectedly is not something I cope with easily. For someone who always considered herself a spontaneous person, I find in later years that I’m not. I liked my rut. It was safe and secure. It’s easy to commiserate with friends and say “life was not supposed to be like this. This isn’t what I planned for.” So, where do we go from here? Maybe a little backstory... .

  When I was 40 I was newly single and had only one child of 14 left at home. I decided to pick up where I had left off 26 years ago and finish the medical degree I had left hanging. I took all the entrance exams, Kleped a couple of classes and bought a new computer. My son told me I had better learn to love pizza. It was 1998. I’m working my ass off in my classes and loving it. Getting my confidence back after my husband left took some time but hey; chat rooms were huge back then as were dating sites. I had my online coffee klatch every morning but none of us were more than virtual friends. Soon the time came when a friendship formed between myself and a professor at a university two states away. He was 19 years older but that wasn’t important. It soon graduated to phone calls and finally he travelled to visit for the weekend. My son was home and even my daughter in law insisted on being there to insure my safety. The date was everything I could have hoped for. We couldn’t even stop talking long enough to read the menus at the waterfront restaurant we had chosen. White tablecloths and a wine steward... .
 
  Within a couple of semesters I had been accepted to transfer to a prestigious medical school in New Orleans and I put my house on the market while I searched for an affordable  home in New Orleans. Every weekend I went to NO house hunting and went on to Baton Rouge and spent the weekend with my professor. Finally my house sold but I still hadn’t found anything a student could afford in NO. My friend had been pushing for me to move in with him and I gave in. That 80 mile drive every morning was grueling but I did it. Who needs sleep-I was in love. In Jan. 2000 I inherited some money and that added to my day trading fund. I wasn’t rich but I was doing ok. P still made a lot more than I did and he liked to spoil me. I cooked fabulous meals and ironed his shirts. He was with me for my interview at a nearby medical school where I was to start my internship at the end of summer. In May he was diagnosed with cancer. How could I leave him alone and move to Texas? My internship never took place. Instead I literally supported him to teach his classes. The chemotherapy had paralyzed some of the muscles in his legs and he needed help walking. I changed my major and continued taking related science classes figuring that I was on campus every day so I may as well make the best of it. I finally had to graduate with 160 hours and a triple major. I still didn’t know what I wanted to be when I grew up as all I was ever meant to be was my father’s daughter-a physician. I was teaching cooking classes; did I mention that I’m a really good cook? By 2012 P. Was thinking about retiring and thought it would be a good idea for us to open a bakery/restaurant with me doing the heavy lifting and him being my financial backer. Three and a half years later we opened the doors.

Back In The Good Old Days

  Remember when we were all wanting to live in a commune? We were young and idealistic. The idea that we could all share a space and the chores, look out for each other, never have to be alone and listen to the Grateful Dead all day had its appeal. Turn the clock ahead 45 years and look at our situations now. At least back then we were young and healthy.

  I’m still in contact with many of my friends from 1972 and were a sad bunch. E cared for her paralyzed mother and disabled sister until their deaths last year. Now she is a 60+ divorced woman who devoted all those years in an unpaid position because she was a good daughter. She lives alone in a rented house and inherited nothing from her mother. Social Security doesn’t allow for an extravagant lifestyle.

  D lives alone in a small house with her dog. She raised three sons who are now successful men. One son is a pharmacist, one is an orthopedic surgeon and the other I’m not sure. She did a good job as a mom but the sons have their own lives and young families. D recently had hip a replacement.

 A lives alone in the house she grew up in. She had to buy out her siblings share when their mother passed away. My son fixed her roof after a hurricane left the rain pouring in but she still has no heat or air conditioning. The backyard pool is now a fishpond. A has type 1 diabetes and although she owned a landscape business that covered a three state area, she never recovered from broken ribs several years ago.

  P lives in Seattle now rather than on the lovely island he once did. He was a musical whiz and great with woodworking tools or a welding machine. At 70+ the last I saw he was saying how he wanted a companion to share his remaining years with.

  Are you seeing a pattern here? It looks as if the world is overflowing with aging baby-boomers who are alone and lonely. We may have grey hair now and not stringing love beads but the only thing old about us is our bodies. Our minds are still stuck in the ‘60’s. THIS is the time we should be considering “getting a place together”. To hell with a help-I’ve-fallen-and-I-can’t-get-up doodad hanging around our necks. We could have each other.

Basil Foam

Summer also means plenty of fresh basil. This Basil Foam is an interesting finish for the Tomato Sorbet recipe. If you made it yesterday then you are probably ready to serve it now.
                                                                       Basil Foam

2 big bunches fresh basil -about 4 cups
2 tablespoons very good olive oil
3 1/2. cups spring water  * see note
1 1/2 ounces powdered, unflavoured gelatin (6 envelopes or 42 g.)
4 tablespoons sugar
scant pinch fleur de sel 
about 1 quart spring water for ice bath

 Method:
1.Bloom gelatin in 1/2 cups spring water.
2.Bring the remaining 3 cups to a rapid boil and blanch basil for a bare 30 seconds- just until it is a vibrant green.Remove from water with a spider or colander.Reserve the water.
3.IMMEDIATELY shock drained basil by plunging it into the ice bath of spring water.
4. Dissolve the sugar in the hot blanching water. Place the water in a bowl of ice to cool it down.
5. Stir in the softened gelatin and olive oil and cool the mixture down further.This can be speeded up by adding a zip-top bag full of ice to the hot liquid as it sits in the bowl of ice.
6. Puree the shocked basil leaves with an immersion blender or in a bar blender using just enough of the thickened blanching liquid to make it spin easily.
7. Press the puree through a fine sieve with the back of a wooden spoon.
8. Add the basil puree back to the thickened blanching liquid and pour into an ISI siphon canister.
9.Screw the canister lid on tightly and charge it with two CO2 cartridges.
10.Spray a nice dollop of basil foam on top of each scoop of Tomato Sorbet and add a sprinkle of fleur de sel. Keep remaining basil foam under pressure in the refrigerator.

* By using spring water you avoid the basil turning brown from chlorinated water so spring for the Fiji water .

Summer Time and the Living's easy

Any great new farmer's market info to share? We have the Red Stick market every Saturday morning here in down town Baton Rouge. They have a satellite market on Thursday AM on Perkins Rd. just west of Essen. Support them and go buy some fresh local goodies.